That Warm Place: Kayla's Rant

Man, I can’t wait to get out of here. It’s nice and warm but too crowded and wet. I can’t stretch my legs or arms cause I have a roommate. Who puts two things in the same place? I don’t put two fingers in my mouth at the same time. I don’t put two toes in my mouth at the same time. I mean who really does that? Well, there are two lips on my face that are in the same place but I don’t think I put them there. Did I? Hmm, I’ll work on that later. I keep kicking in here hoping someone will hear me and let me out. Sometimes I hear something but who knows what that thing is saying. It’s such poor service in this place. It’s too crowded, too wet, and no one response to your requests. I mean really, who’s the manager of this joint cause I’ll file something somewhere. I mean it. I hope they don’t expect a tip from me. When I try to get some sleep, there’s always an earthquake waking me up. I hit the ceiling trying to make it stop. Sometimes it works sometimes not. Sometimes shadows go across the ceiling that looks like five sausages. Sometimes I follow it, sometimes I don’t. My roommate sucks more than just her thumb. I mean she’s so boring. It seems like she sleeps all the time. Really, how many sheep can you count in a day? Sometimes I kick her to see what will happen. Sometimes she kicks back. Sometimes she just turns her back. Hopefully I won’t have to see her again after I get out of here. There has to be more interesting things on the outside. Sometimes I feel a cool breeze and I get excited cause I think I’m about to get out. But then I realize it came from my butt or my neighbor’s butt. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I don’t. I like the following things about this place. One, the surround sound. It plays a cool beat, da dum, dad um. You can hear it at all different speeds. A bit repetitive but it works. Two, there’s this really cool sting that I can tug on when I want food. Watch I’ll do it. It takes a couple of minutes. Like I said, the service in this place is horrible. Do, do do do, do do do, do do dopy ey dope ey do do do do. Mmm chicken. Three, Umm, actually there’s only two. Yup, I think just two. Other than that it’s too crowded and wet, and my roommate sleeps all the time. Hmm, nothing really to do right now. Think I’ll take a nap.